just ask, please and thank you (:

It's been on my mind lately and I just can't seem to ignore it. So you think I talk shit about you ? I honestly don't know why you would think that. I'm sorry that I make it seem as if I give you cut eye, but common I swear we talked about it, I have reeaally bad vision. Waaitt.. why am I explaining myself, why am I apologizing? I'm tired of always being the one to apologize. Just hearing that you think I talk shit is surprising to me. Never once did I ever think that you talked shit. To think of it I never thought you talked about me negatively or positively at all. Ever thought that the reason I dont talk to you as often as my friends do is just cause I'll find it extremely awkward , its not cause I hate you. Yes, i do talk about you but I can say that when I do talk about you it's cause I either defend you or say nothing but good things about you. You can't just assume that I talk about you in that way.

You know, I really wanted to be able to talk to you again before. But now, I think I've lost that desire to want to. It's not only because I hear things, it also has to do with me knowing that if I dont talk to you as much, there won't be anything for anyone to talk about. And because you think that of me, that's what gave me the push to keep my distance from you. All of this made me realize that maybe you never really knew me or maybe I just never really knew you.

Sometimes i wonder if anything's absolute anymore. Is There Still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable,left to interpretation, grey. Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, cause we're faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us. Truth is still absolute. Believe that. Even when that truth is hard and cold, and more painful than you've ever imagined. And even when truth is more cruel than any lie.

A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow. He said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I dont know why we put things off, but if I had to guess I'd say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? ; "The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine.He who hesitates is lost." We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've heard all the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally inderstand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.